My New Hippie Hats

A few days ago I was driving in Berkeley and noticed how many hippies were wearing bandannas on their heads (look, I finally changed the spelling from hippi). Suddenly I had a strong, consuming desire to own a bandanna. So after work today I drove to Any Mountain and bought two bandannas, one red and one blue. Once home I realized I had never actually worn a bandanna on my head (or for that matter any other part of my body). So, I had to go on-line and look up instructions on how to properly tie a bandanna. Thank god for the internet. After about 6 tries, I finally found a look that suited me. When wearing my bandana I prefer to squint and pretend that I am a pirate as opposed to a dirty footed hippie. My one hoop earring helps to solidify my new persona.

Our T.V. died today. I’ll add it to the list of one more thing to go wrong in July 2009. It was a bit odd because I was watching Warehouse 13 when it happened. On the television screen a man was at the airport buying tickets. From behind him two men dressed in black trench coats, goggles, and black masks enter the airport. The camera angle switches and now the audience is watching the two men through a security camera which is a grainy, black and white video feed. The men reach down and pull back their trench coats to reveal bomb-like apparatus attached to their chests. A green ball forms between them, in the middle of the T.V. screen, then suddenly the screen goes black. As though the image “fell” or was sucked in to the middle of the green ball. Frantic voices can be heard in the background. I sit for a few minutes staring at blackness before I realize, “well son-of-a-b*tch. The T.V. just died”.

When your T.V. dies a little part of your soul will give its own momentary death rattle. It sounds something like, “Grrrp … k-k-k-k- … rrrrr …pop”. I tried to think positive thoughts like “oh well I can just read” or “maybe I should wash the dog” or “wow, now I have time work on the book” or “I should practice Form Stance for karate”. Instead I ran to my laptop and watched a video feed of “Glee” coming out in September but available now on the web. I suck. I super suck. My suckage is so large and so vast that I am a little green ball in the universe swallowing up tiny video images around me. I should be cleaning my Glock. I should be collecting fresh lettuce from my eco-bin. I should be squeezing fresh grape fruits for my shower tonight.

Oh, which brings me to another thought. Today a paraprofessional offered me fresh fruit from her garden (no this isn’t some bizarre sexual innuendo). I’ve never actually accepted fruit from anyone’s garden before. It made me feel very organically minded and stuff. I wish I had fruit to offer from my garden. Proclamation #5: I will plant seeds. I will watch them grow. I will offer strangers fruit from my garden!! Yes!! I will wear my hippie bandana, kneel in dirt and plant organic lemon seeds! I will fertilize my sees with re-appropriated dog poo (probably not) and fight damage causing insects with vinegar! Next time when I am watching T.V. and it dies I will have sense not to sit in front of a dark screen for two minutes before realizing this sudden darkness was not part of the plot.