Today we went to the Maker Fair. The Maker Fair is a two-day event where visitors and vendors make, create, invent, craft, recycle, think and play. There are booths set up that “celebrate” arts, crafts, engineering, food, music, science and technology. This year’s them was “Green”. Perfect! Right?
My very first impression was that I’m going to have to re-think “green” deodorant. As a whole, the crowd smelled rank. Outside, the cool San Mateo breeze offered some sense of relief. However, inside and within the confines of the crowded exhibit halls the smell was unreal.
I decided to make a beeline to the Homegrown Village. Here I expected to learn all about growing vegetables, recycling, and self-sufficient living. Kum-bye-frackin-ya. Instead I ran into the Vegetarian from hell.
Transcript:
Vegetarian Whore: (smiling) Hello. Are you a vegetarian?
Me: No. I’m just here to learn more.
Vegetarian Whore: (still smiling) Learn more? What would you like to know?
Me: (making a sweeping gesture with my hands across the pamphlets laid out on the table in front of me). Well, I just started caring about this stuff about a month ago.
Vegetarian Whore: (Frowning) Oh. What do you mean? (Long uncomfortable pause). So, what made you decide to um …. (pause).
Me: (Now at this point I decided it would be unwise to explain that I’m pro-apocalypse and anti zombie). Well, I’m a teacher and this stuff is supposed to be important and … um stuff.
Vegetarian Whore: Ya. Um. Here take this (hands me a booklet called, “Vegetarian Starter Kit”).
Me: Ok, thanks (and I run away).
Needless to say, I don’t feel like my first exchange as an “enlightened” self-sufficientish zombie fighter went very well. I was pretty offended actually. I started breaking down the exchange in my head and decided that I lacked the religious fervor to stand toe to toe with these freaks.
I then went in search of EcoBoxes. They didn’t have any to sell, just more pamphlets. For people so worried about the environment, these hippies sure did like their multi-colored pamphlets. The EcoBoxes were less than inspiring. If they had any, they would be selling them for $60.00. Instead the man told me that if I attended a class I could buy one for $40.00. I said, “Well, it looks pretty self explanatory”. I think he was offended. So, he pulled out yet another pamphlet (this one bound and about 20 pages in length) and started flipping through it explaining to me all the things I could learn in the class. I smiled and decided to play along. “Ok then, so when does your next class start?” He looked kind of confused. “Well actually, the class is on Thursday, but it’s our last one”. I shrugged and mumbled something about learning how to kick zombie head on Thursdays so I couldn’t attend. He didn’t seem to care much. Instead he directed me to a neon pink handout that told me where I could purchase EcoBoxes on line. I decided I could go to Home Depot instead and make one for about $12.00.
I know it sounds like I had a terrible time, but I really didn’t. I’m not so much a “maker” as I am a “buyer” so I ended up with two books and a really cool SteamPunk necklace (thanks to VSC’s mom). The books we purchased were The Humble art of Zen-Cleansing Clean and The Humble art of Zen-Cleansing Body. “Clean” is an A-Z cleaning guide for the home using the 5 Zen Cleansing ingredients Baking Sods, Borax, Lemon, Salt and White Vinegar. The “Body” book reads more like a zen prostitutes guide to self-care. It includes tips on how to clean/ care for ta-tas, vaginas, and discolored knees using the same 5 Zen Cleansing ingredients.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Bedroom Day 1
My next stop on this journey is the bedroom. Standing at the door, I look around. I see two beds. How very Flinstones of us! If only my parents knew the truth. I’m banished from the family because I sleep with another woman, but technically we don’t even sleep in the same bed. Ironic. Anyway, we have two beds because my back is so fracked up I can’t sleep on a regular mattress. There are many pillows, two sets of sheets, down comforters, and covers. There are also two side tables from Ikea, two lamps, and a bunch of electronics chargers. On my bedside table I have two cell phones and one lamp. There are also a bunch of books and magazines. VSC has a lamp and at least 3 chargers. In one corner is an antique cabinet and a hanging light string from Monterey. There are some pictures on the wall.
This should be simple enough …
Bedding: The most common material used for bedding is cotton. Although “natural” the cotton industry bathes the stuff in chemical fertilizers and insecticides. Cotton growers also like their child labor. Now, in the past I was definitely PRO child labor … but now that I’m all hippi I have to be anti child labor (insert sigh here). Although I question many of the facts in my Self-Sufficientish Bible I will share them just in case they might be true. According to Andy and Dave, “cotton accounts for just 3 per cent of farmland and 15 – 55 per cent of pesticides used in its production”. 15 – 55 per cent? Quite a margin for error there guys. Anyhoo … moving on.
Suggested alternatives to cotton are hemp and wool. The price hierarchy is as follows hemp $$$, wool $$, and cotton $. Hemp takes less time to grow, and is 4 times more durable than cotton. Wool has excellent thermal properties and will usually last longer than cotton. When deciding which option you may choose, consider where the materials actually came from. If the wool is being shipped from the UK and the hemp comes from India, you aren’t really “saving the planet” much after shipping and handling.
So, let’s go shopping. My one criterion was that the materials were grown in the United States. Holy Lamb Organics is located in Northern California which was an added bonus.
Twin Hemp Comforter: $399 at http://www.rawganique.com
Twin Wool Comforter: $289 at http://holylamborganics.com
Twin Organic Cotton Comforter: $165 at http://www.theorganicnest.com
Of course, I have no intention of trading in my Ikea bedding until my toes start getting caught in holes, but its good to know that the next time I have to replace my bedding I’m going to need a whole lot of cash. Good thing I’m saving all that money on toothpaste.
This should be simple enough …
Bedding: The most common material used for bedding is cotton. Although “natural” the cotton industry bathes the stuff in chemical fertilizers and insecticides. Cotton growers also like their child labor. Now, in the past I was definitely PRO child labor … but now that I’m all hippi I have to be anti child labor (insert sigh here). Although I question many of the facts in my Self-Sufficientish Bible I will share them just in case they might be true. According to Andy and Dave, “cotton accounts for just 3 per cent of farmland and 15 – 55 per cent of pesticides used in its production”. 15 – 55 per cent? Quite a margin for error there guys. Anyhoo … moving on.
Suggested alternatives to cotton are hemp and wool. The price hierarchy is as follows hemp $$$, wool $$, and cotton $. Hemp takes less time to grow, and is 4 times more durable than cotton. Wool has excellent thermal properties and will usually last longer than cotton. When deciding which option you may choose, consider where the materials actually came from. If the wool is being shipped from the UK and the hemp comes from India, you aren’t really “saving the planet” much after shipping and handling.
So, let’s go shopping. My one criterion was that the materials were grown in the United States. Holy Lamb Organics is located in Northern California which was an added bonus.
Twin Hemp Comforter: $399 at http://www.rawganique.com
Twin Wool Comforter: $289 at http://holylamborganics.com
Twin Organic Cotton Comforter: $165 at http://www.theorganicnest.com
Of course, I have no intention of trading in my Ikea bedding until my toes start getting caught in holes, but its good to know that the next time I have to replace my bedding I’m going to need a whole lot of cash. Good thing I’m saving all that money on toothpaste.
Bathroom: Done (for the most part)
Overhauling the contents of the bathroom is complete. Well, as complete as it is going to get for now. I haven’t updated in a few days because I haven’t had much to report. I’ve been waiting around for my hair to grow greasy, smelly and tangled. It hasn’t. I smash a lemon on top of my head every other day, throw on some baking soda, and rinse. I then brush my hair; one hundred strokes twice a day. How very anti-climatic.
We’ve swapped out or toothpaste and soap and the results have also been … well, fine.
This week is the Makers’ Fair. There will be one booth offering mini self sufficient garden systems (EcoBoxes). If they aren’t too expensive I hope to buy one for the house or classroom. My first crop will be greens for the tortoises. Currently we buy greens about once every two weeks. The two tortoises can’t possibly eat even the minimal amount we have to purchase from the grocery store. I guess we could try eating the collard greens, but frankly I just don’t like greens. Anyway, half of what we buy goes bad before it gets eaten. So, hopefully we will be less wasteful AND I can learn how to grow something besides pot plants (which, for the record, I haven’t done in about 10 years).
On Monday my martial arts classes start. Expect much bitching and moaning come Wednesday, as that is when I expect the pain to set in. Oh well, it will give me a reason to research anti-pain solutions to go in the bathroom cabinet.
We’ve swapped out or toothpaste and soap and the results have also been … well, fine.
This week is the Makers’ Fair. There will be one booth offering mini self sufficient garden systems (EcoBoxes). If they aren’t too expensive I hope to buy one for the house or classroom. My first crop will be greens for the tortoises. Currently we buy greens about once every two weeks. The two tortoises can’t possibly eat even the minimal amount we have to purchase from the grocery store. I guess we could try eating the collard greens, but frankly I just don’t like greens. Anyway, half of what we buy goes bad before it gets eaten. So, hopefully we will be less wasteful AND I can learn how to grow something besides pot plants (which, for the record, I haven’t done in about 10 years).
On Monday my martial arts classes start. Expect much bitching and moaning come Wednesday, as that is when I expect the pain to set in. Oh well, it will give me a reason to research anti-pain solutions to go in the bathroom cabinet.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
A Note of Clarification: To My Critics
Since starting this experiment several people have pointed out that many of the products I am using probably won’t be available during the post-apocalypse. So, should I learn how to make baking soda? Should I really be rendering fat in my backyard so that I can make soap from scratch? The answer of course is no. After much thought I have come to the following conclusion.
I will do my best to come up with self-sufficientish solutions that can be used in the post-apocalypse. However, if the solutions aren’t sustainable in the post-apocalypse they will at very least be sustainable in 2009 – 2010 and cheaper then the none eco-friendly alternatives. As a bit of a compromise I will list the products I am using now, and research the products or methods I would use in the post-apocalypse.
As an example, for soap I am using Sappo Hill Aloe / Oatmeal. However in the post-apocalypse bathing is really just used to kill odor causing bacteria on the body. Water will probably be at a premium so any rag combined with an alcohol containing product will work. This includes rubbing alcohol, lotions containing alcohol, baby towlets, anything that can be scavenged. Instead of Soap Seeds simply turn your clothing inside out, shake vigorously, and leave in bright sunlight. The sun-washed clothes will smell and feel cleaner. The ultra-violet radiation will cook the critters hanging out in your sweat and dead skin cells. Instead of washing my hair with baking soda and lemon juice, greasy hair can be combated with small amounts of baby powder. I’m telling you, it really pays to have a baby in the house when the post-apocalypse comes. Between the alcohol soaked towlets, bottles, and baby powder you’ve got most everything you need to stay clean. Teeth can be cleaned with a rag instead of a toothbrush, and salt and / or baking soda will replace toothpaste. (See When All Hell Breaks Loose by Cody Lundin for more).
On a side note, I start martial arts classes in June. Guns are great, but when the ammo is running low a solid side-kick to zombie head might buy me the time I need to run away.
I will do my best to come up with self-sufficientish solutions that can be used in the post-apocalypse. However, if the solutions aren’t sustainable in the post-apocalypse they will at very least be sustainable in 2009 – 2010 and cheaper then the none eco-friendly alternatives. As a bit of a compromise I will list the products I am using now, and research the products or methods I would use in the post-apocalypse.
As an example, for soap I am using Sappo Hill Aloe / Oatmeal. However in the post-apocalypse bathing is really just used to kill odor causing bacteria on the body. Water will probably be at a premium so any rag combined with an alcohol containing product will work. This includes rubbing alcohol, lotions containing alcohol, baby towlets, anything that can be scavenged. Instead of Soap Seeds simply turn your clothing inside out, shake vigorously, and leave in bright sunlight. The sun-washed clothes will smell and feel cleaner. The ultra-violet radiation will cook the critters hanging out in your sweat and dead skin cells. Instead of washing my hair with baking soda and lemon juice, greasy hair can be combated with small amounts of baby powder. I’m telling you, it really pays to have a baby in the house when the post-apocalypse comes. Between the alcohol soaked towlets, bottles, and baby powder you’ve got most everything you need to stay clean. Teeth can be cleaned with a rag instead of a toothbrush, and salt and / or baking soda will replace toothpaste. (See When All Hell Breaks Loose by Cody Lundin for more).
On a side note, I start martial arts classes in June. Guns are great, but when the ammo is running low a solid side-kick to zombie head might buy me the time I need to run away.
My Trip to a Hippi Haven
Big day today, it was my first trip to a hippi haven. I’ve lost track of how many years I’ve lived in the Berkeley / Oakland area. However, I can say that I’ve driven by the Berkeley Bowl at least 50 or 60 times. I felt a bit embarrassed admitting to VSC that I thought the Berkeley Bowl was a local bowling ally. Honest mistake right?
So, my first impression is that hippies need to stay on their damn bicycles because they sure as hell don’t know how to drive (or for that matter park) cars. After nearly 10 minutes in the parking lot I was feeling no love, joy, or peace. I was aggravated and pissed off. We eventually got inside and decided to start by getting lunch at the cafeteria. Aggravated I ordered some Chinese food and grumbled over having to sit cafeteria style with a bunch of strangers. However, I very nice older man extended the first proverbial olive leaf and offered to move down a seat so that VSC and I could sit together. I’m telling you people, little acts of kindness can make all the difference in someone’s life. After sitting for a few minutes we struck up a conversation with an elderly Asian family across the table from us. They lived in San Francisco but had come to Berkeley so that the husband could get low cost acupuncture at the Acupuncture School and Clinic on Shattuck. We can’t wait to try the place out.
After lunch I was in a much better mood. We made a beeline for the soap isle where I got some inexpensive yet completely eco-friendly soap and face scrub. We also picked up some Soap Seeds to try in our washer. Supposedly I’ll get a minimum of 300 loads of laundry out of one bag of Soap Seeds (both cleans and softens clothing). The cost was about $22.00. I chose two types of soap. One cost $1.15 and the other $1.75.
VSC then showed me around the huge vegetable section and the bulk bins full of baking soda (.85 / lb.), every kind of flour imaginable, dried pasta, beans, fruits, candies, etc. She explained that the bulk bins and vegetable section were the real reason the Berkeley Bowl was so popular. We picked up some fresh greens for the tortoises and I’ll probably start buying baking soda in bulk.
So, my first impression is that hippies need to stay on their damn bicycles because they sure as hell don’t know how to drive (or for that matter park) cars. After nearly 10 minutes in the parking lot I was feeling no love, joy, or peace. I was aggravated and pissed off. We eventually got inside and decided to start by getting lunch at the cafeteria. Aggravated I ordered some Chinese food and grumbled over having to sit cafeteria style with a bunch of strangers. However, I very nice older man extended the first proverbial olive leaf and offered to move down a seat so that VSC and I could sit together. I’m telling you people, little acts of kindness can make all the difference in someone’s life. After sitting for a few minutes we struck up a conversation with an elderly Asian family across the table from us. They lived in San Francisco but had come to Berkeley so that the husband could get low cost acupuncture at the Acupuncture School and Clinic on Shattuck. We can’t wait to try the place out.
After lunch I was in a much better mood. We made a beeline for the soap isle where I got some inexpensive yet completely eco-friendly soap and face scrub. We also picked up some Soap Seeds to try in our washer. Supposedly I’ll get a minimum of 300 loads of laundry out of one bag of Soap Seeds (both cleans and softens clothing). The cost was about $22.00. I chose two types of soap. One cost $1.15 and the other $1.75.
VSC then showed me around the huge vegetable section and the bulk bins full of baking soda (.85 / lb.), every kind of flour imaginable, dried pasta, beans, fruits, candies, etc. She explained that the bulk bins and vegetable section were the real reason the Berkeley Bowl was so popular. We picked up some fresh greens for the tortoises and I’ll probably start buying baking soda in bulk.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Shapoo Experiment Day 1
I want to say how much I'm enjoying my new toothpaste. I'm obsessing a little, and flossing more than usual, but I believe that these ocd moments are transitory in nature.
Moving on. Last night I decided to implement the new shampoo. First I added a tablespoon of lemon juice to a cup of water. I then added a teaspoon of baking soda. I showed my concoction to VSC who thought that mixing the two key ingredients (lemon juice and baking soda) probably rendered each useless. Grumbling I returned to the kitchen. This time I added a tablespoon of lemon juice to a cup of water. I then dumped a bunch of baking soda into a separate cup and carried along a teaspoon. Triumphant I returned to the living room. This time VSC pointed out that entering the shower with about 5 teaspoons of baking soda, when I only needed 1, would surely result in a wet pasty mash. Grumbling I returned to the kitchen. I dumped the baking soda back into the Arm & Hammer box. I then measured out only 1 teaspoon of baking soda into my cup and returned to the living room with 1 cup of water / lemon juice mixture and 1 teaspoon baking soda in a separate cup. Finally I was ready for the shower. VSC insisted on watching as she thought this was all very funny.
Once in the shower I turned on the hot water so my toes weren't cold. I then wet my hair a little and dumped the baking soda on top. I massaged gently. Next I added the lemon juice / water mixture to the top of my head. This resulted in mass profanity because the mixture was frackin' cold. However I persevered and massaged gently. VSC advised me that the Aussie was very concerned about my progress. She was pacing outside the bathroom door and attempting to push her head in to check on my well being. Eventually I managed to complete my hair washing. Exhausted I exited the shower, brushed out the wet hair, and put myself to bed.
Today my hair smelled like hair. I also noticed that we are almost out of soap. Are you fucking kidding me? I can't possibly be expected to replace toothpaste, shampoo and soap all in the same week. Sigh.
Moving on. Last night I decided to implement the new shampoo. First I added a tablespoon of lemon juice to a cup of water. I then added a teaspoon of baking soda. I showed my concoction to VSC who thought that mixing the two key ingredients (lemon juice and baking soda) probably rendered each useless. Grumbling I returned to the kitchen. This time I added a tablespoon of lemon juice to a cup of water. I then dumped a bunch of baking soda into a separate cup and carried along a teaspoon. Triumphant I returned to the living room. This time VSC pointed out that entering the shower with about 5 teaspoons of baking soda, when I only needed 1, would surely result in a wet pasty mash. Grumbling I returned to the kitchen. I dumped the baking soda back into the Arm & Hammer box. I then measured out only 1 teaspoon of baking soda into my cup and returned to the living room with 1 cup of water / lemon juice mixture and 1 teaspoon baking soda in a separate cup. Finally I was ready for the shower. VSC insisted on watching as she thought this was all very funny.
Once in the shower I turned on the hot water so my toes weren't cold. I then wet my hair a little and dumped the baking soda on top. I massaged gently. Next I added the lemon juice / water mixture to the top of my head. This resulted in mass profanity because the mixture was frackin' cold. However I persevered and massaged gently. VSC advised me that the Aussie was very concerned about my progress. She was pacing outside the bathroom door and attempting to push her head in to check on my well being. Eventually I managed to complete my hair washing. Exhausted I exited the shower, brushed out the wet hair, and put myself to bed.
Today my hair smelled like hair. I also noticed that we are almost out of soap. Are you fucking kidding me? I can't possibly be expected to replace toothpaste, shampoo and soap all in the same week. Sigh.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Task #2: Shampoo
Well task #1 (the toothpaste experiment) was pretty simple to execute. In less than 24-hours I’ve made one significant life change. Two if you include the new toothbrush. It’s now time for task #2.
I am running dangerously low on shampoo. When it comes to shampoo, cheaper is better for me. I shower every day. It’s my religion. If I’m doing yard work, going out somewhere special, washing the dogs, etc. I might shower twice a day. Whenever I shower I use shampoo and conditioner. I gravitate towards the more inexpensive choices and usually end up buying Suave (I like to let people think I spend a fortune on my hair. pfft.) or TreSemme’. If I manage to roll a hooker (ala GTA muthafucka’) then I’ll treat myself to Aveda Rosemary / Mint shampoo and conditioner.
According to the book, ordinary shampoos contain many different chemicals. Although Andy and Dave go in to no real detail, they do state that, “shampoos contain vast numbers of chemicals that surely can’t be good for us”. Surely? Well ok. Not the most scientific statement I’ve ever read … but I’ll bite.
If you’re rich you can afford to visit some hippi haven and purchase chemical-free, fair trade, completely recycled vegan baby, hair rinse. I do not have a lot of money. I am looking for a cheaper solution. I am also looking for a post-apocalyptic solution.
First, I’d like to say that “natural hair care” options are disgusting. Therefore my goal is to find the least nauseating solution to my problem. One option is to not wash my hair at all. I did this once after surgery. I left my hair unwashed for about 3 days. It matted. It was greasy … it was nasty. I’ve blocked most of the details of the experience out. However, according to dreadlock wearing hippies everywhere, the reason for the smelly and greasy hair is, “that your sebaceous glands over-produce sebum (even sounds dirty), which is a lubricant, to compensate for the drying effects of shampoo, which strips your hair of its natural oils. Once you leave your hair alone it will adapt and the sebaceous glands will settle down”. M’Kay. Next option please …
The “Beaten Egg” solution. Simple enough. Beat an egg and wash it into your hair with cold water. Wait. COLD water? This will never happen. I am no where near taking on the task of taking cold showers. That is somewhere farther in the future, much farther, some where between growing my own vegetables and owning a compost toilet.
Cider Vinegar. If you have dark hair, wash with cider vinegar. Nope, I’ve got blonde hair.
Lemon Juice. If you have light hair, massage in lemon juice and rinse. Hey now, this might work. Massage? I like massages. Lemon juice? I like lemons. No cold water requirement. I just might be sold on this solution.
Baby Shampoo is usually free of chemicals. But like Aveda and hippi havens, I don’t want to have to rely on finding baby shampoo in the post-apocalypse. Besides will there even be babies? Aren’t they usually the first to be eaten by zombies and wasteland vagrants? Once the finite amount of baby shampoo has been all used up I don’t see MegaCorp spending its limited resources manufacturing baby shampoo when there aren’t any babies left. Moving on …
Ok, so shampoo problem solved. I’ll use lemons. Still pending is the conditioner problem. Consider this … your average hippi chick has long, straight, flat, parted down the middle, hair. I do not. I have long, naturally curly, no part needed hair. I value my hair almost as much as I value my perfect teeth. NOT using conditioner could be a complete and utter catastrophe. Fortunately, the shampoo is going to run out long before the conditioner. I have a few weeks to come up with a conditioner solution. If anyone out there has one, please share it quickly!!!
Today I purchased 7 fl. oz. of lemon juice and (6) lemons to get started. I wanted the lemon juice because the plastic container is reusable and should hold up in the shower. The lemons seemed a little expensive to me, so I’m going to hit the farmers market and see if I can find them for cheaper. If not, then maybe a lemon tree will have to be my first plant. On the back of my Arm & Hammer box it says that adding 1 tsp. of baking soda to your shampoo each week will create fuller, more manageable hair. I wonder what will happen if I mix Baking Soda and lemon juice? Fortunately shortly after this thought I fielded a call from Lisaici who had some helpful hints. 1. Mix lemon juice with warm water. 2. Definitely add baking soda to the mix. 3. If lemons become too expensive switch to Cider Vinegar.
Lemons – $6 (2 for $1.00)
Sicilia Lemon Juice (lemon juice, lemon oil, preserved with sulphur dioxide) in a reusable container – 7 oz. for $2.29.
Baking Soda: Bought and paid for.
I am running dangerously low on shampoo. When it comes to shampoo, cheaper is better for me. I shower every day. It’s my religion. If I’m doing yard work, going out somewhere special, washing the dogs, etc. I might shower twice a day. Whenever I shower I use shampoo and conditioner. I gravitate towards the more inexpensive choices and usually end up buying Suave (I like to let people think I spend a fortune on my hair. pfft.) or TreSemme’. If I manage to roll a hooker (ala GTA muthafucka’) then I’ll treat myself to Aveda Rosemary / Mint shampoo and conditioner.
According to the book, ordinary shampoos contain many different chemicals. Although Andy and Dave go in to no real detail, they do state that, “shampoos contain vast numbers of chemicals that surely can’t be good for us”. Surely? Well ok. Not the most scientific statement I’ve ever read … but I’ll bite.
If you’re rich you can afford to visit some hippi haven and purchase chemical-free, fair trade, completely recycled vegan baby, hair rinse. I do not have a lot of money. I am looking for a cheaper solution. I am also looking for a post-apocalyptic solution.
First, I’d like to say that “natural hair care” options are disgusting. Therefore my goal is to find the least nauseating solution to my problem. One option is to not wash my hair at all. I did this once after surgery. I left my hair unwashed for about 3 days. It matted. It was greasy … it was nasty. I’ve blocked most of the details of the experience out. However, according to dreadlock wearing hippies everywhere, the reason for the smelly and greasy hair is, “that your sebaceous glands over-produce sebum (even sounds dirty), which is a lubricant, to compensate for the drying effects of shampoo, which strips your hair of its natural oils. Once you leave your hair alone it will adapt and the sebaceous glands will settle down”. M’Kay. Next option please …
The “Beaten Egg” solution. Simple enough. Beat an egg and wash it into your hair with cold water. Wait. COLD water? This will never happen. I am no where near taking on the task of taking cold showers. That is somewhere farther in the future, much farther, some where between growing my own vegetables and owning a compost toilet.
Cider Vinegar. If you have dark hair, wash with cider vinegar. Nope, I’ve got blonde hair.
Lemon Juice. If you have light hair, massage in lemon juice and rinse. Hey now, this might work. Massage? I like massages. Lemon juice? I like lemons. No cold water requirement. I just might be sold on this solution.
Baby Shampoo is usually free of chemicals. But like Aveda and hippi havens, I don’t want to have to rely on finding baby shampoo in the post-apocalypse. Besides will there even be babies? Aren’t they usually the first to be eaten by zombies and wasteland vagrants? Once the finite amount of baby shampoo has been all used up I don’t see MegaCorp spending its limited resources manufacturing baby shampoo when there aren’t any babies left. Moving on …
Ok, so shampoo problem solved. I’ll use lemons. Still pending is the conditioner problem. Consider this … your average hippi chick has long, straight, flat, parted down the middle, hair. I do not. I have long, naturally curly, no part needed hair. I value my hair almost as much as I value my perfect teeth. NOT using conditioner could be a complete and utter catastrophe. Fortunately, the shampoo is going to run out long before the conditioner. I have a few weeks to come up with a conditioner solution. If anyone out there has one, please share it quickly!!!
Today I purchased 7 fl. oz. of lemon juice and (6) lemons to get started. I wanted the lemon juice because the plastic container is reusable and should hold up in the shower. The lemons seemed a little expensive to me, so I’m going to hit the farmers market and see if I can find them for cheaper. If not, then maybe a lemon tree will have to be my first plant. On the back of my Arm & Hammer box it says that adding 1 tsp. of baking soda to your shampoo each week will create fuller, more manageable hair. I wonder what will happen if I mix Baking Soda and lemon juice? Fortunately shortly after this thought I fielded a call from Lisaici who had some helpful hints. 1. Mix lemon juice with warm water. 2. Definitely add baking soda to the mix. 3. If lemons become too expensive switch to Cider Vinegar.
Lemons – $6 (2 for $1.00)
Sicilia Lemon Juice (lemon juice, lemon oil, preserved with sulphur dioxide) in a reusable container – 7 oz. for $2.29.
Baking Soda: Bought and paid for.
Toothpaste Experiment: Final Report
Taste test completed. The paste was gritty and it really felt like it was doing something impressive to my teeth. Lot's of good foam with the added benefit of not having to add water along the way. Initially it tasted a little salty, but the aftertaste was minty and refreshing. I made a batch that should last (2) people about two weeks.
A few concerns. The first is that I had to be very careful not to swallow, and for some reason I really needed to concentrate on this fact though I'm not in the habit of swallowing regular toothpaste so why would I be inclined to swallow this stuff? Also, I usually brush my teeth in the shower and can clearly not to this anymore. That's a bummer. Finally, I poured too much HP into my shot glass, so I risked wasting my valuable supply. I ended us putting the shot glass half full in to the medicine cabinat for another day. I hope this doesn't become nasty later on.
A few concerns. The first is that I had to be very careful not to swallow, and for some reason I really needed to concentrate on this fact though I'm not in the habit of swallowing regular toothpaste so why would I be inclined to swallow this stuff? Also, I usually brush my teeth in the shower and can clearly not to this anymore. That's a bummer. Finally, I poured too much HP into my shot glass, so I risked wasting my valuable supply. I ended us putting the shot glass half full in to the medicine cabinat for another day. I hope this doesn't become nasty later on.
Toothpaste Experiment #1
I spent the majority of my day looking forward to going to the grocery store to pick up my ingredients for toothpaste. I found everything I needed at the Nob Hill located near my school. 16 fl. Oz of TopCare Hydrogen Peroxide Solution cost me $1.09. The Arm & Hammer Baking Soda came in three sizes. I decided I was going to need a bunch so I bought the 4 lb. box. This cost me $3.69 cents. I already have mint extract (and several other extracts) at home, so no need to buy more.
While at the store I figured I might as well shop for shampoo ingredients as I’m sure this will be my next task to complete. I’ll tell you more about that later.
I’m of the opinion that this new lifestyle will require patience and planning. My plan of attack is as follows:
I will organize and prioritize my “interventions” based on location. As an example, I will start by replacing all the items in my bathroom with more sustainable solutions. This will include toothpaste, shampoo, deodorant, cleaner (for tub, toilet, and sink) and any unnecessary medicines located in the cabinet. After revamping and replacing the materials and supplies in my bathroom I will probably move on to the bedroom. I expect the kitchen will be the last location that I overhaul as this will be the most extensive life-style change.
As I run out of items, I will replace them. I don’t want to simply tear through my home and throw out anything considered “bad”. This would just be wasteful and counterproductive. Instead, I will replace items as they wear out or are worn out.
Whenever making purchases for friends, family, or self I will now consider environmental impact. I don’t plan on buying new shoes or new clothing anytime in the near future. If you are a friend and have a birthday coming up, well, you’re kinda screwed. Sorry about that.
While shopping for toothpaste ingredients I realized that I also needed a new toothbrush. I quickly scanned the toothbrush isle and realized, “Oh jeez, I’m screwed”. So, I drove home and Googled “hippi toothbrush”. Sure enough, I found a solution:
Biodegradable Source Toothbrush Saves The World One Head At A Time
In their quest to save our dying planet, ecologically concerned people are often forced to make sacrifices. If you're compelled to join them, you can start by getting rid of that fancy superstore toothbrush and replace it with the Source Toothbrush, an environmentally friendly hygienic tool constructed from wood fiber and a special plastic made from Nebraska corn. Its replaceable heads also feature the world's first "radial bristling" for maximum plaque-busting power. Nobody says you have to have bad breath to be a tree hugging hippie. $7.95 [Source Toothbrush via UberReview]. The link is http://www.radiustoothbrush.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWCATS&Category=16
I decided on the Source 3-pack - soft bristles for $18.77. This will give me (3) brushes made out of recycled dollar bills, recycle flax, and recycled wood. VSC can have one, I will have one, and we will have an extra for a gift or a guest. Let me know if you are interested … I also decided to save on shipping (cost, energy, waste) and ordered Replacement Heads - soft bristles at the same time. This cost an additional $6.95. My total bill was $28.71. But I shouldn’t have to buy any nasty disposable toothbrushes for a long time.
Now, some of you might be thinking, “Isn’t there a cheaper / easier / better / more eco-friendly way?” Well yes. But first, you should know that my toothbrush has a dedicated following including Sting, Cher and Whoopi Goldberg. Whoopi frackin’ Goldberg people! Second, you should know that around 240 million plastic, non-biodegradable toothbrushes enter a landfill every year. So, an alternative had to be found.
Choice #1 was a wooden-handled toothbrush with pig hair bristles (any natural bristle will do, but pig hair caught my eye). This brush can be thrown in a compost bin when you are done using it. Well I don’t yet have a compost bin, and a wooden toothbrush costs about $3.99 ea. I go through (1) brush every three months (and frankly I should be changing it out every two months). That would cost me about $16.00 a year ($26 for both me and VSC. $38 for me, VSC and a friend). Also, some wooden toothbrushes are made in China with child labor. Child labor bad. Plundering wood from China bad. Burning jet fuel from China to Oakland bad.
Choice #2 was chewing a bitter-tasting twig from the meswak tree. When you chew on the twig sap is released. This sap will freshen your teeth. Also, chewing the twig for long periods of time will strengthen your teeth. Finally, when the twig is chewed for an even longer period of time the “splinters” act like floss. You can buy 30 Miswak online for $30.00. I didn’t look long, but I did find one site with more information and cost information. If you’re curious go to http://www.alkhaircqw.com/miswak_deal.htm. I decided against this option because I work for a living and can’t show up chewing on a stick. Also, international shipping seems wasteful. If I come across meswak twigs in some hippi store I will promise to try some.
Choice #3: My Radius toothbrush is biodegradable, made in the United States and endorsed by Sting. Need I say more?
I’m of the opinion that this new lifestyle will require patience and planning. My plan of attack is as follows:
I will organize and prioritize my “interventions” based on location. As an example, I will start by replacing all the items in my bathroom with more sustainable solutions. This will include toothpaste, shampoo, deodorant, cleaner (for tub, toilet, and sink) and any unnecessary medicines located in the cabinet. After revamping and replacing the materials and supplies in my bathroom I will probably move on to the bedroom. I expect the kitchen will be the last location that I overhaul as this will be the most extensive life-style change.
As I run out of items, I will replace them. I don’t want to simply tear through my home and throw out anything considered “bad”. This would just be wasteful and counterproductive. Instead, I will replace items as they wear out or are worn out.
Whenever making purchases for friends, family, or self I will now consider environmental impact. I don’t plan on buying new shoes or new clothing anytime in the near future. If you are a friend and have a birthday coming up, well, you’re kinda screwed. Sorry about that.
While shopping for toothpaste ingredients I realized that I also needed a new toothbrush. I quickly scanned the toothbrush isle and realized, “Oh jeez, I’m screwed”. So, I drove home and Googled “hippi toothbrush”. Sure enough, I found a solution:
Biodegradable Source Toothbrush Saves The World One Head At A Time
In their quest to save our dying planet, ecologically concerned people are often forced to make sacrifices. If you're compelled to join them, you can start by getting rid of that fancy superstore toothbrush and replace it with the Source Toothbrush, an environmentally friendly hygienic tool constructed from wood fiber and a special plastic made from Nebraska corn. Its replaceable heads also feature the world's first "radial bristling" for maximum plaque-busting power. Nobody says you have to have bad breath to be a tree hugging hippie. $7.95 [Source Toothbrush via UberReview]. The link is http://www.radiustoothbrush.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWCATS&Category=16
I decided on the Source 3-pack - soft bristles for $18.77. This will give me (3) brushes made out of recycled dollar bills, recycle flax, and recycled wood. VSC can have one, I will have one, and we will have an extra for a gift or a guest. Let me know if you are interested … I also decided to save on shipping (cost, energy, waste) and ordered Replacement Heads - soft bristles at the same time. This cost an additional $6.95. My total bill was $28.71. But I shouldn’t have to buy any nasty disposable toothbrushes for a long time.
Now, some of you might be thinking, “Isn’t there a cheaper / easier / better / more eco-friendly way?” Well yes. But first, you should know that my toothbrush has a dedicated following including Sting, Cher and Whoopi Goldberg. Whoopi frackin’ Goldberg people! Second, you should know that around 240 million plastic, non-biodegradable toothbrushes enter a landfill every year. So, an alternative had to be found.
Choice #1 was a wooden-handled toothbrush with pig hair bristles (any natural bristle will do, but pig hair caught my eye). This brush can be thrown in a compost bin when you are done using it. Well I don’t yet have a compost bin, and a wooden toothbrush costs about $3.99 ea. I go through (1) brush every three months (and frankly I should be changing it out every two months). That would cost me about $16.00 a year ($26 for both me and VSC. $38 for me, VSC and a friend). Also, some wooden toothbrushes are made in China with child labor. Child labor bad. Plundering wood from China bad. Burning jet fuel from China to Oakland bad.
Choice #2 was chewing a bitter-tasting twig from the meswak tree. When you chew on the twig sap is released. This sap will freshen your teeth. Also, chewing the twig for long periods of time will strengthen your teeth. Finally, when the twig is chewed for an even longer period of time the “splinters” act like floss. You can buy 30 Miswak online for $30.00. I didn’t look long, but I did find one site with more information and cost information. If you’re curious go to http://www.alkhaircqw.com/miswak_deal.htm. I decided against this option because I work for a living and can’t show up chewing on a stick. Also, international shipping seems wasteful. If I come across meswak twigs in some hippi store I will promise to try some.
Choice #3: My Radius toothbrush is biodegradable, made in the United States and endorsed by Sting. Need I say more?
Ok. So shopping is done. I have toothpaste and I have a toothbrush en route. Once VSC returns home I will ask her for a storage container and mix together my ingredients. Then I will taste my masterpiece.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Day 1
Ok. Chapter one begins with The Eco-Friendly home. Apparently my house has been contructed using a variety of synthetic, unsustainable materials, which are harmful to my planet and my health. Uh-huh. I rent, so nothing for me here. If your interested, carpet is bad. Seagrass is good. Cork is good. Moving on ...
I'm low on toothpase, so I think I will begin here. To begin, I have perfect teeth. I brush my teeth two or three times a day and I have never had a cavity. I go to the dentist once a year for check ups and cleanings. This is my current toothpaste. Colgate flouride toothpaste with MaxFresh Mouthwash Beads. I bought it because it was on sale (this is usually how I choose my toothpaste). I think it cost me around $2.50 at Safeway. I remember getting it home, useing it the first morning and thinking, "what the hell are these little white things in my paste?".
According to my book most brands of toothpaste contain sodium lauryl sulphate, a foaming agen that can lead to mouth ulcers. It can also contain triclosan, a chemical used for its anti-bacterial properties. The chemical could become carcinogenic when it comes into contact with water. I'm not sure what they mean by "could" but whatever. My Colgate contains sodium lauryl sulphate but does not contain triclosan. Whew! That "could" have been a close call.
Now, my book does not include a recipe for toothpaste. Shampoo and toilet cleaners yes, toothpaste no. The book does recommend natural toothpastes by Jason Natural Products, Green People, Kingfisher and Lavera.
Fortunately the post-apocalypse isn't here yet so I can still go online for a recipe. Stupid book. From http://www.pioneerthinking.com/teeth1.html.
Ingredients:
6 teaspoons baking soda
1/3 teaspoon salt
4 teaspoons glycerin
15 drops peppermint or wintergreen extract
Directions: Mix thoroughly. Should be a tooth paste consistency. Store in a container.
6 teaspoons baking soda
1/3 teaspoon salt
4 teaspoons glycerin
15 drops peppermint or wintergreen extract
Directions: Mix thoroughly. Should be a tooth paste consistency. Store in a container.
Too bad I don't need mouthwash ....
Ingredients:
3/4 cup vodka
20 drops lemon essential oil
1 1/4 cup distilled water
30 drops bergamot essential oil
Directions: Combine the vodka with the essential oils in a bottle, shake well then allow to sit for 1 week. Shake once a day. When ready to use it , dilute the mix with 3 parts water/ 1 part mixture. Use it as a gargle or mouth rinse. Do Not Drink.
3/4 cup vodka
20 drops lemon essential oil
1 1/4 cup distilled water
30 drops bergamot essential oil
Directions: Combine the vodka with the essential oils in a bottle, shake well then allow to sit for 1 week. Shake once a day. When ready to use it , dilute the mix with 3 parts water/ 1 part mixture. Use it as a gargle or mouth rinse. Do Not Drink.
Here's a recipe for baking soda toothpaste:
4 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
a few drops of flavouring (peppermint extract)
Mix well and keep the mixture in an air-tight container
4 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
a few drops of flavouring (peppermint extract)
Mix well and keep the mixture in an air-tight container
I will try both recipes and let you know which one tasts less like ass.
Self-Sufficient-Ish Here I Come
So, my journey begins with the purchase of Andy and Dave Hamilton's book The Self-Sufficient-ish Bible. An eco-living guide for the 21st century. Perfect. This is a beautiful green book. Very hippi. Of course I hate hippies. I hate recycling, hippi bins (compost bins), and hemp. I think mint chip ice gream should be green, toothpaste should be blue, and meat should be a nice shade of chemical red. Dreadlocks are disgusting and women should shave thier armpits and legs. Dirt is, well, dirty. People should dry thier hands with paper towels and not moist mung rags passed from person to person. Mass transit is rediculous. Have you ever ridden a public bus? It takes 3 hours to go 2 blocks.
Step by step I will become more self-sufficient-ish. I will choose a change, embrace the change, and live with the change as long as I can possibly stand it. Some changes might take only a day, others may become week long projects. I plan on starting simple. Nothing too dramatic at first. Nothing too hippi. Just a slight adjustment here and there. We will see where the change takes me. Start simple. Live simple. Become simple.
In the beginning ...
I am prepared for the post-apocalypse. I own (2) survival kits. One for the house and one for the car. I have read multiple survival guides, watched every movie in the genre, and read World War Z twice. I know how to kill zombies. I have learned to load and shoot a gun, build a fire with flint and steel (well in theory at least), and carry drinking water in non-lubricated rubbers.
It's time to take the next step. It's time to become more self-sufficient-ish. I've finally accepted the reality that at some point during the post-apocalypse I'm going to run out of canned peaches. I'm then going to have to step outside the safety of my arsenal and find some food. I don't know how to grow anything, so that leaves trade. And quite honestly the wasteland vagrants are going to take one look at my sweet ass and probably turn me into some kind of sex slave. I've played FallOut 3. I know how wasteland vagrants roll.
So, the fact is I'm not as prepared for the post-apocalypse as a need to be. And although my survival guides talk in length about sleeping in tarps and killing beavers, I need to know more. Self-sufficient-ish here I come!
It's time to take the next step. It's time to become more self-sufficient-ish. I've finally accepted the reality that at some point during the post-apocalypse I'm going to run out of canned peaches. I'm then going to have to step outside the safety of my arsenal and find some food. I don't know how to grow anything, so that leaves trade. And quite honestly the wasteland vagrants are going to take one look at my sweet ass and probably turn me into some kind of sex slave. I've played FallOut 3. I know how wasteland vagrants roll.
So, the fact is I'm not as prepared for the post-apocalypse as a need to be. And although my survival guides talk in length about sleeping in tarps and killing beavers, I need to know more. Self-sufficient-ish here I come!
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